"Thy will be Done"

When I think on the last three weeks, as we gathered to remember my dear sister in law, and we bowed before our God in prayer. The words, Thy Will be Done.  Have stuck out in my mind. I will admit those words are hard to pray without  some anger boiling to the surface.   We lost a beautiful woman of God, to a horrible accident, and we are left with so many questions.  My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer 7 years ago this coming Friday, she lived only 4 months after the diagnosis.  Not a day goes by that I don't question why God had to take such a Godly woman away from my life.  

It is hard to understand, but we are just not able to see the Grand picture in our lives.  An analogy that I have used before, because I love History, is that of June 6, 1944.  On the beaches of Normandy as the boats drew near to shore, the bullets and bombs began to fall, and the boys on the landing crafts thought, we are going to die.  But the boys who were flying in the planes above and saw the VAST scope of the amount of boats headed to shore, thought, we are going to win.   Our lives only have one small perspective. That being our own, However God's is all knowing for All...let that sink in.  Not even a hair shall fall from my head, with out Him knowing, that's for All of Us...ALL!

Our lives are such a small portion of eternity, and yet the GOD of the Universe gave us his son, so that who ever believed in him would have eternal life.  

I have lost 2 beautiful God fearing women in my life, but there is such hope, because I believe that I will see them again, and how wonderful Heaven will be.  I will join our 9 beautiful children, who I never had the chance to meet, I will Be wrapped in the Biggest hug by the the mom, who loved me so much, I will sing with Katie again, and I will laugh with my grandpa, and meet once again the loved ones who have gone before me and I will join in the heavenly choir and sing with all that I am.  At the moment, I wallow in my sorrow, and the tears stain my cheeks, but I have hope.  God wraps his arms around me, and holds me close. I know that he hears every cry, and counts every tear.  He knows I have had many.  This song resonates with my heart today.   This song was written about miscarriage and loss, and I am no stranger to loss.  I am no stranger to feeling broken, and worn out and weary.  God however has never left me, or forsaken me, and I have been angry, and I will be angry again I am sure, but His love is steadfast for me, no matter what state my heart is in.  That is true Grace.  In that Grace and Only in that blanket of Grace can I say.  THY WILL BE DONE.


Always. 


Mommy AK