The importance of Emotional Health!

In this journey this journey of healing that I am on,  I am going to admit to you, that my 

emotions often get the better of me and create havoc in my household, my family life, and 

friends.  I recently read the book Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst. This book brought to light just 

how much my emotions controlled me negatively,  over the last year I have truly desired to 

learn to deal with emotions and deal with them as they come properly and  in the most 
healthy 

way possible, Biblically and Physically for myself, and my journey to better health. 

"Emotional health is an important part of overall health. People who are 

emotionally healthy are in control of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. 

They are able to cope with life’s challenges. They can keep problems in 

perspective and bounce back from setbacks. They feel good about themselves and 

have good relationships.

Being emotionally healthy does not mean you are happy all the time. It means you are aware of your emotions. You can deal with them, whether they are positive or negative. Emotionally healthy people still feel stress, anger, and sadness. But they know how to manage their negative feelings. They can tell when a problem is more than they can handle on their own. They also know when to seek help from their doctor. Research shows that emotional health is a skill. There are steps you can take to improve your emotional health and be happier.  ~ Familydoctor.org

 I carry a significant amount of emotional trash along with me in my heart that I have never properly dealt with, because of circumstances and I am so ready to rid my heart of the heavy emotional burdens so I can be the best that God has intended me to be.  I think it is a great starting point for me personally in how I deal with strained relationships, which is a significant reason, why I come unglued.   My favourite books of the Bible are the letters written by Paul.  This was a man who had every right to come unglued for all he endured in his Mission work for Christ, and numerous times he got upset and angry, but I truly feel with every right. Paul endured incredible hardship in his life and yet remained at his post for Christ, until his death.  

When it comes to dealing with emotions, isn't it true, how we react to something can set off a domino effect of emotions. Especially when dealing with a situation that causes, worry, or anger, or frustration.  However Here is what Paul says about anger:

Ephesians 4:26-27 ( The message) Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry- But don't use your anger as fuel for revenge and don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold on your life. 

Being angry in it of its self is not a sin, how we deal with it, is the deciding factor in whether or not we allow it, to become sin.   Emotions are not wrong, they are a gift, but how we use them is key to communication, representation of our selves and resolving issues.  When dealing with my own anger, I usually am an exploder, I GET MAD, I GET LOUD, I GET IN YOUR FACE!  I WANT TO BE HEARD!  But I want to dive into that more.  It takes me a while to get that mad, but there is usually a precursor to this.  Other emotions that I have withheld from the surface.  

Worry and fear: This is my NUMBER 1 problem in my life, I am a worry wort, through and through, and it drives me crazy.  When I am worried I do not do well.  I do not handle the invasion of my personal space well when I am in the worry space.  That includes my kids,  people infringing on my brain space,  it makes travelling with me a pain in the ass, and worry makes room for me to spew YUCK( my built up emotions) on my kids and husband and anyone else who might be crossing my path at the wrong time.   

Philippians 4: 6-7( The Message) "Don't Fret or Worry. Instead of worrying, Pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns, Before you know it a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life" 

This verse I read it while researching for this blog post, and I have always read it in NIV translation, but this version of these verses, hit me down deep.  Especially the last part. " It's wonderful what happens when CHRIST displaces worry at the CENTER of your life."  It is true that when I am in worry mode, it because my centre, it becomes what I focus on it is hard to focus on anything else.  I have to bow before the throne, and give my worry to him, every time I feel it surfacing, ready to take over my joy, happiness and my relationships around me.   I want to make something very clear though.  Emotions NEED to be dealt with. 

"Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways" ~ Sigmund Freud 

"When you shut down emotions, you are also affecting your immune system, your nervous system so the repression of emotion which is a survival strategy then becomes a source of Physiological illness later on".~ Gabor Maté. 

"Suppressed emotions are simply emotions that you choose not to acknowledge therefore failing to act on them or expressing them in a healthy way. One fact you need to be aware of is that emotions can never be suppressed and ‘have’ to leak out in one way or the other so it makes no sense trying to suppress them.
It’s because suppressed emotions are nothing but you carrying extra energy that you did not dissipate.
All things have a natural tendency to become more stable by releasing extra energy and you are no different. Suppressed emotions have to leak out so that you may become psychologically stable"~ Psychmechanics.

"If we keep on suppressing our negative emotions they get buried into our subconscious mind which often results in mood swings, unexplained sadness and mild depression"~psychmechanics. 

"Hallmarks of emotional suppression research are that suppression is effortful and does not alter felt affect because—by definition—it occurs after emotional experiences. Downstream, suppression has been linked to myriad negative outcomes. For instance, suppression impairs memory processes, predicts psychopathology, and elicits maladaptive physiological responses to name a few. Suppression also has negative social consequences, such as reducing access to social support resources, lowering “social satisfaction,” and harming relationships. More long-term, engaging in suppression predicts weaker social connections.~ Psych.rochester.edu.research. 

When I have found my self in a moment where I feel like I have to come unglued, I have the choice to be a reactor or a responder.  Suppressing should not be an option. Yet often at the time " keeping Peace" feels right, by walking away, and sometimes taking a break is ok.  However so often it is less beneficially to suppress than to deal with the emotion at hand.  Our Physiological reaction to emotions is milliseconds, usually, before our brain has fully processed the emotion, our faces are already reacting.

(Paraphrased from the Book Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst.)

"A reactor: Escalates the conflict". 

"A responder dissipates the conflict"... KEY HERE: Not walk away. Works on constructively and actively coming up with a solution to the conflict.

"A reactor spews emotion or masters the silent treatment."

"A responder gives a gentle answer ".

We need to actively deal with our negative emotions, the effects are usually in my mind, and 

body are quite clear.  They are not good!  

"I want to be a passionate woman reined in my God's grace--Not an exploder( the Reactor) 

who shames herself.~ Lysa Terkeurst Proverbs 31 Ministries. 

In her book, Unglued Lysa calls the persons who suppress emotions, the "stuffers". I am a mix of both 

a stuffer and an exploder. It completely depends on the situation for me, and who and how 

comfortable I am with that person, as to my reaction to a conflict should one arise.  I tend to 

be a stuffer more in public and exploder at home.  However, the exploding is a direct result 

of the stuffing. 

I am also a person who takes an incredibly long time to process emotions, hurts, and bad 

habits.  It seems that while I am trying to process those emotions if I am not given ample 

time to process them, I am more likely to explode on random about stupid stuff.  

I am learning through my reading about emotions I am realizing the direct link between my 

depression and anxiety and my emotions. They are often linked directly to suppressed 

emotions, and unresolved conflicts.  I am also learning the power of prayer, the power of 

of forgiveness, and the power of actually spending the time taking care of me.   Not doing my 

nails or my hair, but reaching into the depths of my life, and finding that part of me so down 

deep that longs for freedom, healing and the ability to Love Life, like a child again.  

"Negative emotions like envy and guilt have important an important role to play in a 

happy life; they're big flashy signs that something needs to change"~ Gretchen Rubin( LearnEvolveandThrive.)

Do not grieve God. Don't break his heart. His Holy Spirit moving and breathing in you is 

the intimate part of your life, making you fit for Himself. Don't take such a gift for granted. 

Ephesians 4:30( The Message) 

Here is my own personal break down of this verse. Do not Grieve God- You are called to reach to Him in your time of struggle( emotional pain) He has your back, TRUST HIM!  Don't break his Heart- Remember when the teenage years and parents were uncool, and so we turn from them and told them to leave us alone. Don't tell God to go away in your struggle.  His Holy Spirit moving and breathing in you is the intimate part of your life making you fit for Himself-He is that Daddy who lovingly snuggles his baby to sleep, telling you he Loves you, guiding your little thoughts to him. He knows every bit of you, created your inmost being, it does not get more intimate than that. He will never leave or forsake you. The Abba father loves you, and sometimes that means some tough love too.  Don't take such a gift for granted- Don't lose sight of grace that he is poured out.  He is invested in your life, He is the potter, and you are the clay, let him mould your heart, your emotions, and reactions to conflict.  


God designed your emotions to be gauges, not guides. They’re meant to report to you, not dictate you. The pattern of your emotions (not every caffeine-induced or sleep-deprived one!) will give you a reading on where your hope is because they are wired into what you believe and value — and how much. That’s why emotions like delight (Psalm 37:4), affection (Romans 12:10), fear (Luke 12:5), anger (Psalm 37:8), joy (Psalm 5:11), etc., are so important in the Bible. They reveal what your heart loves, trusts, and fears. At Desiring God we like to say pleasure is the measure of your treasure, because the emotion of pleasure is a gauge that tells you what you love. ~ John Bloom of desiringGod.org

We have the ability to use our emotions effectively. However, sometimes that means spending the time to evaluate where I stand emotionally.  My emotional health directly affects my physical health. I know this because when I am struggling emotionally, I have trouble breathing, I have heart palpitations, I have insomnia, and acid reflux, and when I am doing better, all these symptoms dissipate.  God wants me to actively participate in this thing called life, not just surviving emotionally like I have for years.  It's about realizing that my emotions are not to dictate my life but to report to me that I need do to something different in my life, to improve my emotional health, which will have lasting results and lead to improvements to all aspects of my life. 

Blessings, Deeds K