Are You Exhausted With Life?
Over the last number of months, I have not felt much like writing, for someone who loves to write, journal, it feels very odd to me. What I have been doing is a lot of soul-searching, reading the Bible, praying for answers, playing with kids, enjoying the journey of rediscovering who I am now, in the new normal. I have done a lot of reading about emotions and its tie to mental and spiritual health. I also have been reading plenty on maintaining healthy emotions, reactions, and my faith. It all comes back to finding true rest. A four letter word, that can have such a profound impact in all aspects of our lives.
When we can allow the gardener to lovingly tend to his garden, amazing things will grow, and rest can and will be found, because we can not live our lives at top speed all the time, without taking a break, taking time For Him, church is wonderful, but God wants us to fall into his arms, all the time, Sunday may be a day of rest, but rest I am talking about is deep spiritual rest, it is only achieved through a real, genuine relationship with Jesus.
Its no wonder we are exhausted with life, our brains are filled with constant noise and clutter. Our hearts need to take time to rest, in his Word, dwell with his spirit, and be humbled by his amazing grace. To achieve His rest means setting boundaries, even in a church setting, home, or at work. Saying no is so hard at times because we might feel that we are needed, but we need to look at our own individual lives and adjust accordingly to make sure rest is a priority in life. I am a mommy, I get it, finding rest has not been easy, in fact, I wouldn't be writing this blog if I had found rest in the way that God has wanted me to in recent years. God has put it on my heart to make a dramatic change in my life, I honestly don't know what that all means yet, but what I do know, is just in a few months, God has spoken more truth into my heart than my entire life prior. I am realizing just how much I need rest. Suicide is not an option. I need to make REST a priority, and when I do, I think the strength to serve in a church, to be a better wife, mother, friend and sister will actually be there. Rest is a weapon against depression, and I have seen the difference that Rest makes in my battle against it.
" Rest andself care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You can no serve from an empty Vessel~ Eleanor Brownn .
When our lives get to busy to find rest, its time to get out the pruning shears and start trimming it back to where God needs you to be, in his Arms, Resting!
Blessings, Deeds K.
I recently watched the live church service from the Saddleback Church. I watched the series they are on now about finding Rest...God's still small voice, was like a hit to the Head. I want and desire to find rest. True rest.
To find that I need to find rest, and start putting in what the Pastors are calling Margin. " A Margin is a space between my load ( the stuff of life), and my limits(what you can handle), its the breathing room in our lives."
We need some Margin in our lives in these Area's there is probably more, but These are the ones that Rick Warren listed.
Physical Margins- What we physically can do
Spiritual Margin- Church, Bible studies, Ministries, and service
Emotional- The weight of people in our lives
Financial- How we manage our money
Time- Finding the time in our lives for the things that matter most
In the last number of years, I have faced some very hard times, for years I tried to fill my empty space in my life with more Physical stuff, more serving, being too involved in peoples lives, wanting to spend money of things we didn't' need, and filling time with computer mumbo jumbo, and never really accomplishing what I wanted to or needed to, in a days time. I filled my life and left NO margin what so ever in my life, there was no room for error.
Oh, how that has changed. My world has come crashing down more than once, and walls tumbled down in a pile of rubble. Who I was behind those walls, exposed.
One pastor at Saddleback Church coined the term B.U.S.Y.
"B.U.S.Y" Being Under Satan's Yoke"
This rang so true in my life if we are to busy to spend time resting, something has to change.
"B.U.S.Y" Being Under Satan's Yoke"
This rang so true in my life if we are to busy to spend time resting, something has to change.
I left no time for God over the years. Oh, I was doing everything I could for God, but nothing with God, I wanted everything to be perfect. So the last 7 years since becoming mommy commitments and activities started to be pruned from life. Rick Warren talks about pruning his Rose bushes and cutting off even young buds that have not bloomed. Each year on the same day HE cuts them off and not just the dead stuff, but sometimes we need more than that, sometimes we have to cut the good stuff out too, to make room for even bigger, brighter blooms and a healthier bush.
Romans 11:21( The Message) If God didn't think twice about taking Pruning shears to the natural branches, why would he hesitate over you? He wouldn't give it a second thought.
Sometimes to make room for some of the best things in life we have to prune back our branches so that we are able to enjoy, truly enjoy the gifts that God has given us. I will be honest, I used to use my abilities to try to please God. My thinking was that if I could do more for Him he would answer my prayers. My arms tried to carry too much, I refused to prune anything because I figured I could do it all. The result, burn out, depression, anxiety, loss of friends, strained relationships, and ultimately losing my identity.
It was when my mom died, that my whole world collapsed. The one person who had my back was taken away by cancer. It was then, that I realized I can not keep doing what I was doing. However old habits die hard, and I went back into trying to prove I was worthy, I needed God to answer my prayers. When my prayers seemed to be unheard, I got angry and bitter. My life needed some serious pruning, the branches that were not bearing fruit were robbing from the branches that could and soon every branch I had, has faded away. Losing my sister in law hit the reset button my heart. I know that I am not able to do everything I would love to do, the list is extensive trust me.
God has allowed me to be pruned, where only the very stock of who I am is left. All other branches have been pruned back. For so long, I saw each pruning as an attack on me personally. However, I have taken some time to realize that I am right where God wants me to be. I am in a place that eventually I, with the Help of God my Father will produce some of the best Roses( fruit) of my life. My kids and my marriage are some of those roses, and I have poured all that I am into trying to be the best mommy and working on being a better wife. Kids have ruled our marriage for a few year now, and I have not been the best wife I should be, all my energy and focus has been on them.
Sometimes the weather( the storms of life) have not allowed me to be the best I could be, and outside circumstances stunted my growth and as seasons change, and emotions come and go, I am seeing for the first time in a long time, new green shoots, and I am starting to feel less like a Zombie Mommy, and more like the Child of God, resting in His arms. It took me reaching rock bottom. Yes, the bottom. What's at the bottom? Despair, hopelessness, fear, and thoughts of taking my own life. I have been here before, but the difference is, I have something amazing to live for, LIFE in Him. It's not easy, and shit happens, but I need to remember my theme verse for my life JOSHUA 1:9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
My mom was facing death, and yet she refused to go without one heck of a fight for her life. She courageously fought against cancer, she said to me, that she has no fear of death because she knew where she was going, only thoughts of sadness for those she was leaving behind, and they were all worth fighting for. Her words ring in my head, "LOVE LIFE". I have had to dig so far down into WHO I AM, and you know what I have found out, is that I am not my own, but belong Body and soul to my God and King and I am a NEW CREATION. I have the opportunity to allow myself to be renewed from the deepest depths of my soul. My memories are the same, and my hurts are still there, but because of God's grace that has seeped down into the crevasses of despair deep in my heart, and allowed me, to forgive myself, and others. Corrie Ten Boom said this:
"Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness".
Something so new, and amazing is taking place in my heart, and I feel so vulnerable, and exposed, and raw yet more alive then I have in a long time. I have made changing my heart a priority in my life, and in doing so, forgiveness is much easier to do. I will never forget some of my hurts, but forgiveness really has freed my soul, more then I could ever express in words. My Bible is never far away anymore, my devotions, are the first thing I want to do, and the last thing I want to do at the end of the day. Prayer is my weapon, against fear, and the evil of this world. I find rest in His Word, I find rest in taking moments of Silence, I find rest in reading, I find rest in spending time in prayer. Time spent devoted to him, for me currently that means time made especially for Him and I, is time spent in Rest. Rick Warren said. " If you fall asleep while praying (like many of us do right?) at the end of the day, A loving Father will never be mad at a child who falls asleep in his arms" When we can find true REST you find who you are, who God wants to be, because you can hear Him, you can hear his heart beating as you lay against His chest.
Until we let go, and put down our do list, and make margins in our lives. Pruning to make room for your relationship with him, we will not find true rest. Exhaustion will be our constant companion. God wants you, he wants your attention, your desire to seek him. He wants you to fall into his Loving arms, to come home, and he will set before you the grandest of feasts, and wrap you in his love. He loves you. I am loved. Deeply cared for, and God will stop at nothing to get into my own and your heart.
James 1: 18-21( The Message) Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.
Romans 11:21( The Message) If God didn't think twice about taking Pruning shears to the natural branches, why would he hesitate over you? He wouldn't give it a second thought.
Sometimes to make room for some of the best things in life we have to prune back our branches so that we are able to enjoy, truly enjoy the gifts that God has given us. I will be honest, I used to use my abilities to try to please God. My thinking was that if I could do more for Him he would answer my prayers. My arms tried to carry too much, I refused to prune anything because I figured I could do it all. The result, burn out, depression, anxiety, loss of friends, strained relationships, and ultimately losing my identity.
It was when my mom died, that my whole world collapsed. The one person who had my back was taken away by cancer. It was then, that I realized I can not keep doing what I was doing. However old habits die hard, and I went back into trying to prove I was worthy, I needed God to answer my prayers. When my prayers seemed to be unheard, I got angry and bitter. My life needed some serious pruning, the branches that were not bearing fruit were robbing from the branches that could and soon every branch I had, has faded away. Losing my sister in law hit the reset button my heart. I know that I am not able to do everything I would love to do, the list is extensive trust me.
God has allowed me to be pruned, where only the very stock of who I am is left. All other branches have been pruned back. For so long, I saw each pruning as an attack on me personally. However, I have taken some time to realize that I am right where God wants me to be. I am in a place that eventually I, with the Help of God my Father will produce some of the best Roses( fruit) of my life. My kids and my marriage are some of those roses, and I have poured all that I am into trying to be the best mommy and working on being a better wife. Kids have ruled our marriage for a few Sometimes the weather( the storms of life) have not allowed me to be the best I could be, and outside circumstances stunted my growth and as seasons change, and emotions come and go, I am seeing for the first time in a long time, new green shoots, and I am starting to feel less like a Zombie Mommy, and more like the Child of God, resting in His arms. It took me reaching rock bottom. Yes, the bottom. What's at the bottom? Despair, hopelessness, fear, and thoughts of taking my own life. I have been here before, but the difference is, I have something amazing to live for, LIFE in Him. It's not easy, and shit happens, but I need to remember my theme verse for my life JOSHUA 1:9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”
My mom was facing death, and yet she refused to go without one heck of a fight for her life. She courageously fought against cancer, she said to me, that she has no fear of death because she knew where she was going, only thoughts of sadness for those she was leaving behind, and they were all worth fighting for. Her words ring in my head, "LOVE LIFE". I have had to dig so far down into WHO I AM, and you know what I have found out, is that I am not my own, but belong Body and soul to my God and King and I am a NEW CREATION. I have the opportunity to allow myself to be renewed from the deepest depths of my soul. My memories are the same, and my hurts are still there, but because of God's grace that has seeped down into the crevasses of despair deep in my heart, and allowed me, to forgive myself, and others. Corrie Ten Boom said this:
"Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness".
Something so new, and amazing is taking place in my heart, and I feel so vulnerable, and exposed, and raw yet more alive then I have in a long time. I have made changing my heart a priority in my life, and in doing so, forgiveness is much easier to do. I will never forget some of my hurts, but forgiveness really has freed my soul, more then I could ever express in words. My Bible is never far away anymore, my devotions, are the first thing I want to do, and the last thing I want to do at the end of the day. Prayer is my weapon, against fear, and the evil of this world. I find rest in His Word, I find rest in taking moments of Silence, I find rest in reading, I find rest in spending time in prayer. Time spent devoted to him, for me currently that means time made especially for Him and I, is time spent in Rest. Rick Warren said. " If you fall asleep while praying (like many of us do right?) at the end of the day, A loving Father will never be mad at a child who falls asleep in his arms" When we can find true REST you find who you are, who God wants to be, because you can hear Him, you can hear his heart beating as you lay against His chest.
Until we let go, and put down our do list, and make margins in our lives. Pruning to make room for your relationship with him, we will not find true rest. Exhaustion will be our constant companion. God wants you, he wants your attention, your desire to seek him. He wants you to fall into his Loving arms, to come home, and he will set before you the grandest of feasts, and wrap you in his love. He loves you. I am loved. Deeply cared for, and God will stop at nothing to get into my own and your heart.
James 1: 18-21( The Message) Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God's righteousness doesn't grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.
When we can allow the gardener to lovingly tend to his garden, amazing things will grow, and rest can and will be found, because we can not live our lives at top speed all the time, without taking a break, taking time For Him, church is wonderful, but God wants us to fall into his arms, all the time, Sunday may be a day of rest, but rest I am talking about is deep spiritual rest, it is only achieved through a real, genuine relationship with Jesus.
Its no wonder we are exhausted with life, our brains are filled with constant noise and clutter. Our hearts need to take time to rest, in his Word, dwell with his spirit, and be humbled by his amazing grace. To achieve His rest means setting boundaries, even in a church setting, home, or at work. Saying no is so hard at times because we might feel that we are needed, but we need to look at our own individual lives and adjust accordingly to make sure rest is a priority in life. I am a mommy, I get it, finding rest has not been easy, in fact, I wouldn't be writing this blog if I had found rest in the way that God has wanted me to in recent years. God has put it on my heart to make a dramatic change in my life, I honestly don't know what that all means yet, but what I do know, is just in a few months, God has spoken more truth into my heart than my entire life prior. I am realizing just how much I need rest. Suicide is not an option. I need to make REST a priority, and when I do, I think the strength to serve in a church, to be a better wife, mother, friend and sister will actually be there. Rest is a weapon against depression, and I have seen the difference that Rest makes in my battle against it.
" Rest and
When our lives get to busy to find rest, its time to get out the pruning shears and start trimming it back to where God needs you to be, in his Arms, Resting!
Blessings, Deeds K.
Comments
Post a Comment