An Unfathomable Reality.

Romans 6:8- Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with Him.

Katie

One week ago, our families lives stopped in an instant. Our family received news, that Katie had passed away in a car accident minutes from home, on her way to work. Katie's vehicle, collided with a crane truck, She did not survive the impact, and left this world in an instant.   In one moment on May 17th, 2017, our beautiful daughter, grand daughter, wife, sister, sister in law, cousin and friend was taken away to be with her Lord and Saviour. 
Our Dear Katie, was robbed of her earthly dreams, and taken into Heavenly Glory, where endless and indescribable beauty now lays before her.

 Katie was my sister in law but I loved her as my little sister, I couldn't wait for our tea dates, and deep conversations that followed.  She loved her and her sisters store, and she loved her family and her hubby, she dreamed of being mommy some day, to her own babies.  She loved her nieces and nephews and was always willing to lend a hand to whomever needed it at the time.  So many unfinished plans and heart ache face us as we pick up the pieces of our hearts, and some pieces will remain on the floor, till we are ready to pick them up.   I don't think we will ever get used to the idea that Katie is gone, a vibrate 30 year old, who was always late, but always with a smile. We will learn to cope with out her here, but as far as getting used to it, never. 
Katie never did anything fast, she always took her time, and took life in.  To be honest it drove me crazy at times. I remember trying to get exercise with her on a walk through town, and we had to stop at every garden,  It drove me nuts, oh how I wish I could go back to those moments and hear what she was thinking, and stop and smell the Roses.  
Katie had a love of flowers, she would spend hours pouring over the newest seed catalogue and tell us all the plants and show us the pictures. She truly had her grand mothers green thumbs.  She loved lilacs, and would go and pick from the bush just outside her kitchen window, and smell them as deeply as she could.  

It is never in the moment that we think that someone we love could leave us so tragically and leave such a gapping hole in our lives.  Its not till we loose someone so dear to our hearts that we realize just what we had.  All of sudden moments of time, become a quilt we wrap around ourselves when the waves and storms of emotions become to much.  We cling to words, and specific memories to get us through a moment of grief.  Anger hits us, as we want to pound our fists, and scream at the top of our lungs, but nothing but sobs reach the surface. Breathing becomes hard, and hope becomes faint, not gone, just faint.  When we face the unknown tomorrow, we tend to fear it, because with it will come the next memory, the next first without them, every little thing reminds us of deep rooted love and the deep wound left, nothing seems to heal it.  Faith becomes our beacon in the midst of complete and utter chaos.  When nothing else is left, there is faith.  Faith give us hope, she believed in a Heavenly Father, and faith brought her home to heaven.  God does not want us to feel this brokenness, nor did he want Katie's life to be cut short the day she had her accident,  but he does not abandon or forsake us. Although I will be there first to admit, I have cried out to God, in anger. I have thrown stones and said words not fit for a blog. If he could walk on water, and create mountains surely he could have saved Kate that day, but he didn't.  He took her home.  We are left to face an unfathomable reality, it still does not seem real.  It just feels like this can't happen, and yet it did. 
Katie was taken from us, instantly changing everything we thought about life.  All of sudden life was seen from a different perspective. My father in-law( Kate's dad) said this.  We lived life this one way, and in a split second, it has taken a completely different course.  One we didn't see coming, unprepared, and unwilling to accept it, trying to cope,  we are broken.  
Watching her parents cling to the broken shell of a body as Kate lay in her casket, crying out in utter despair, knees buckling underneath them, I can't help but be outraged that our broken world has taken us to this place.   I felt so broken, holding her siblings as we sobbed together. Then realizing that our new baby will never know the Auntie Katie I knew, just took me to my knees.  The memories of Auntie Kate for my other kids may become hazy as they grow and make new memories.  
I hope that we can keep Auntie Katie's Memory alive and well, and my children will know of those who so deeply loved them.  Christ died so that we may live.  Christ died so that when chaos and unfathomable realities hit, and they take us out at the knee's, that we have hope, faith and Love in a God who truly loves us,  who loves us enough to lay His life down. We will dwell with him in His heavenly kingdom. No more fears, no more pain and no more tears.  The other end of the unfathomable reality, we will one day see our Saviours face.  Today, we will cry, we will cry out, and we will get mad, and we will wonder and question why, and we may never get the answers, till we reach that pearly gate. We will face emotions we didn't know we had, and we will embrace each other as a family, and we will struggle at times.  Hope is something that becomes a safety rope, tying us to our faith, our God, and heaven, and to the ones we love. 

Love you always Katie!
Until we meet again,

Love your Big sister!