Missing you!

I am missing someone, who I love so much, I didn't know just how much till they were gone. 

In my heart I know, that heaven is a wonderful, God’s love and Grace, 

and that gives me some comfort but it does not take their place.  

I can keep busy, and think about it less, but eventually those emotions come out, 

and I become a mess. 

To hide from tears, and pretend that I am ok, would not be true and I

would be denying what my heart must do, and grieve for you. 

 Your missing and there is just no other way to say it, I flippen hate it.

To know that I will have to wait to see you again at heavens gate, 

It makes me angry, that God could not save, our precious Kate. 

He is the God of this world creator of mountains, and delicate flowers.

after all he had the power. 

But he let death on this earth to take you away.

Who are we to question why, but I can’t help but sometimes just cry.

A picture, a memory, a song, reminds me that this is all wrong.

It cannot be true, but the reality is, the sun, distraction, or who knows what,

made you not see that big yellow truck. 

Now I stand by a grave and a stone, and I feel completely alone. 

The birds are still singing, and butterflies flying, 

inside my soul is crying.

There are no answers, no apparent reasons, so we look at the pictures,

 and remember the good times, and your Life’s seasons.

That last hug, the last thing I said, wondering what was going through your head.

Did you feel pain, did you see it coming? 

When its your time, there is no questioning the timing. 

Your siblings struggle and miss you so much, 

your parents amaze me, but struggle too as such. 

With  a broken heart I face each day, trying to find peace and have it stay.

The waves of grief come, one by one, each moment is different 

this loss that I feel so significant. 

Your dad said it once life was one way, until you left us, now it will never be the same.

Like a book closed in an instant, no words to read about you from that day forward.

It just seems so unfair, as I look at your photo's stare. 

I hear your voice when I look at the picture on the mantle, 

Do I look pretty, do I look nice? I am smiling to cheesy, or just right?

I have a hard time with loosing you, my friend and sister too. 

We went many places together, just you and me, and walked by California's sea. 

You stood by me on my wedding day, and sang a song of God's amazing Grace. 

We had our chats over hot cups of tea, and planned out things we would like to see. 

I laugh, and wish for one more chance, to do the carmen Electra dance, like fools we laughed and you fell on your Ass, "Graceful, I AM NOT" you said with such Sass.

My dear sister, and friend, It was may 17, that your life came to an end, and I don't know if I can ever mend.

 A broken heart, is hard to heal, loosing my mom and then loosing you is a big deal. I search the sunset, the butterflies in the sky, I look at the flowers and the grass in your yard, and my emotions catch me off guard. 

I will never see you mow that grass, or glance in your garden and see you with a wave with a smile.  The healing is gonna take a really long while. 

One day at a time, and memories too, I take them as they come, and remember you. 

I will cry when I need to and laugh when I think back, all those times you wished for a bigger rack. Sorry I had to make it rhyme. 

You are perfect now, in your heavenly robe, and no more trials, or pain. It is just us now that feel the rain. The Storm we walk through, is a hard one from which I want to Run.

We feel the sadness and the grief, because death is a thief.

 It has robbed us, and taken such an amazing gift. 

Through my thoughts and memories my mind must sift.

I just want you back, I told God that, But Your place is in heaven with Him.

My journey on earth is not done, I will do my best to have fun. 

I will treasure the time that I had with you, and remember you always too. 

For now it's Till I see you again, my little sister and a dear friend,

I love you always Katie!!!